Existing as a marginalized person within the U.S. and beyond is not only incredibly difficult but can also be dangerous. Many clients as well as the clinicians here at Unlimited Spectrum identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community and as I am sure you are aware, there have been numerous recent attacks on the rights and lives of queer people across the country. In tumultuous times such as these, it can be incredibly difficult to feel safe especially as out queer people. I’m not only referencing physical safety but psychological safety as well. We are constantly inundated across the news and social media with information about anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and reports of gun violence, ect. This information even if consumed in the presumed safety of our own homes can be difficult to process and activating for our nervous system. Despite this, we are all expected to continue moving through life uninterrupted and continue to accomplish work and other daily tasks. Managing to accomplish those things while in a state of activation can be incredibly difficult and for some even impossible. How can we feel safe when there is so much instability and violence in the world?
This question sits heavy with me and has since the Covid-19 pandemic began. Entering into lockdown, I believe humanity, as a collective, was plagued with uncertainty, anxiety, and fear of what was to come. It was during this time that I began to explore my own concept of safety. Coincidentally, it was also at this time that I was introduced to the concept of mindfulness within my master’s program. I had never heard of this concept before, nor did I recognize its benefit in helping to engage grounding practices as well as other thought work. All of it was new to me and I began searching for more information about how to practice it within my daily life. Mindfulness originates from primarily Buddhist principles and was a large part of engaging with religious and spiritual practices through yoga and meditation in Eastern cultures. This practice has been separated from its roots within religious practice and modified to fit more western ideals in the form that it takes in western psychology today, however it is within these roots that we can understand and engage with it best. I encourage you to engage with your own research around the history behind mindfulness practice as I am still learning about this topic.
From my current knowledge, the general concept behind mindfulness is intended to help shape the way we engage with our thoughts. Within this premise, we are instructed to view our thoughts with curiosity and to evaluate how helpful or useful they are to our current experience. The most important element of this ideal however is the use of a non-judgment attitude towards our thoughts. Our thoughts appear organically and are not reflective of our innate value as human beings, therefore we have the ability to question them to determine if they fit within our moral and ethical guidelines as well as choose whether or not to act upon them. For those thoughts we disagree with or find no use for, we simply are encouraged to let them pass by as if floating down a calm stream. Without judgment we watch them float along as we ground ourselves in the present moment. This additional piece of grounding is another important part of mindfulness as it addresses our current reality and our ability to center ourselves within our bodies in the present.
The action of grounding ourselves in the present moment is difficult as this is a skill that requires practice in order to grasp, which is where a non judgemental attitude is key. There are many different ways to engage with grounding including focusing on the five senses, breathing exercises, yoga, or meditation. I encourage you to explore these different types of grounding practices alone or with your therapist to determine which may fit best for you. There are some helpful videos or guides on YouTube that may be beneficial for getting started. The utilization of grounding practices coupled with the non-judgmental attitude and curiosity towards our thoughts in mindfulness work form the groundwork for finding safety within ourselves. One example of how this may look involves entering into a state of mindfulness and then engaging an observation of our surroundings. You may ask yourself, am I safe within my body right now? Can I feel my breath, can I touch comfortable parts of my body, am I able to feel my heartbeat? If the answer is yes then we extend outward. Stretch your arms out and look all around you. Ask yourself, am I safe in this space from one hand to the other? If the answer is yes, extend outward again. Ask yourself, am I safe within these walls around me? Keep going until you have explored and determined your container of safety. Remember that this container may be different sizes depending on the day or on other circumstances, that is perfectly ok. Remind yourself that your only goal is to evaluate and exist within your safe container, whatever that looks like for you. Let yourself exist within your container staying mindful about being grounded in the present moment. Breathe and feel the world around you and explore your safety within your body. Remember that it is ok to not be able to control everything but focus on what you can control, like your breath or your surrounding environment.
Repeat this practice anytime you feel your nervous system activating, or even when you already feel calm. Practice is key to maintaining your sense of internal safety and this practice is something we can continuously come back to in times of stress or anxiety.
I hope this brief overview of mindfulness and grounding has helped you determine ways to begin your own journey of finding internal safety. Please note that this is my own personal understanding of these practices and I encourage everyone to explore these concepts further by doing your own research. Additionally, ask one of our amazing therapists to work with you on mindfulness in your next session if this concept feels good for you. This is just one way to engage with internal safety, but I hope it sits positively with you and helps even a little bit in your daily life to find safety and peace in the tumultuous world we live in. Sending you love and good energy!
Blog post by: Jayde Mullis